Coincidence on My Way to New Jersey

Coincidence was all around me on Friday, December 11th, 2009. I woke up totally excited about how the day was going to unfold. My enthusiasm was due to the fact that I was about to hit the road and drive to my brother's house in New Jersey. Chris turned 30 that day... and I figure that was only going to happen once. Surprising him at his front door seemed like the right thing to do. As a father of 2 young boys, I don't get to do leave for a night very often, but in this case, Erin really encouraged me to make the trip.

I also felt like there was something more significant than the trip. There was something about this nearly spontaneous decision to take on the open road that was inspiring me. It might have been the left over joy I felt from the hugs I got from Erin and the boys before I left or that I sense life change in the near future. But mostly, I was excited to see the next scene of my life story take place... a chance to see a band that my brother and I haven't seen together since 1997. Switchfoot was playing at the TLA in Philadelphia and we had tickets... only Chris didn't know that I had one as well.

Switchfoot always inspires me. Their music is the poetry of hope that I need to hear when I feel like my heart is in a rut. Just list the titles of their songs and I start to feel inspired: "Meant to Live", "This is Your Life", "Dare You To Move", "Awakening" and so many more. On the drive down to see my brother, I promised myself that I would sing the words of these songs until my voice was sore. It felt like the thing the 1997 version of myself would do.

I was excited about one other thing on this trip. I haven't been doing much reading over the past several months and this trip was going to include 10 hours of drive time. So, I signed up for Audible, the audio book service that allows you to download a book and listen to it on an MP3 player or phone. I decided to listen to: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. The poignant question posed at the beginning of the book is this: "Why would you want a Volvo or anything of perceived value if you wouldn't be interested in watching a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo?" To put it another way, the elements that make up a story for a great movie are the same elements that make up a great life.

I was seriously challenged by this premise. I mean, I've always known that real value in life is generated by the relationships we cultivate and not the things we accumulate. But I never thought of putting life in the context of a good story. I love a flawed character, vibrant scenes, the challenge of the antagonist and so many of the other components of a great story. I just never thought of those elements of story being important to my life.

And in that moment, somewhere on I-84 in Connecticut, I realized the coincidences all around me. The book, the band, the trip, and my relationship with my brother. I was about to play out a major scene in the story of my life... the kind of musical montage that sums up my relationship with my brother. Just picture us walking on South St. in downtown Philadelphia, eating a Cheese Steak and having a drink all while the sounds of Switchfoot played in our heads... "This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?"

Ode To Joy

Chrome OS

What if Rob Bell was going to produce a Google video for the new Chrome OS? It might sound something like this. Even if you don't agree with the Rob Bell comparison, I really like what Google is saying in this video.... why not simplify!

Calculator (The story of my trip to Burlington, MA)

As some of you heard on twitter today, I went to Burlington, MA for a training event at work. It was a pretty good event with plenty of food and the promise of a prize for those who could answers questions at the end. Like any other perpetually broke person, I was excited for the chance to get something for free. That included a free lunch, which also made it a poor choice for me to go to the Chick-fil-A at the Burlington Mall... so I didn't go (refer to the tweet).

Anyway... back to the point. I was anxious to answer a question at the end of the training so that I could reap the benefits of paying attention all day long. The first question was impossible, so I didn't raise my hand. The second question was a little more realistic and my hand rapidly flung up in the air as if I had channeled the 4th grade version of myself. I confidently... and correctly answered the question and was rewarded the 1st prize.

It was a calculator.

I tried not to look outwardly disappointed but I'm sure a smirk flashed across my face. After we were dismissed, I put it with my things and headed for home.

When I got home, Mitchell greeted me with his usual enthusiasm. It's a joy that can't be explained until your 2 year old runs up to you, hugs your leg and yells, "My daddy's home!" I started to look for a place to put my things down; Mitchell followed me to the couch, with Landon looking on from his spot on the floor. Mitchell asked what has now become a very common question, "... This is...?" (interpretation: What is this?) I showed Mitchell and Landon my new calculator. The wonder and amazement was over the top. "A Calculator!.... WOW!" In an effort to keep things equal, I actually handed it to Landon first. He didn't say anything, but he did grab onto it with his unusually strong, 9 month old hands as if to say, "I love this calculator!"

The calculator was free. The reaction was priceless. These are the invaluable moments available in parenthood no matter how broke you think you are.

(Plus... the calculator situation reminded me of this SNL skit from last year. Check it out!)

Don't Call It Marriage

One of my closest friends, Jay Caton posted to an earlier blog dealing with Homosexual Unions. We respect each others opinions and since its rare that we come down on different sides of the issues, I figured I would share it on this blog (with his permission). His rebuttal and yours are welcome!

Jay Caton:
I'm deeply saddened that Maine voters have overturned their same-sex marriage laws. It’s a blow to all our rights, gay or straight.

This is not a religious issue. They will not "teach" our children how to be gay. In fact, in what class are they teaching them, to be straight?

They will not “overrun” our system and cause problems in our society. It works in Mass, it works, in 4 other states and in numerous other country’s. It can work across the US too.

No one is saying that individuals need to "accept" same sex relationships or "lifestyles". There are those who still are very vocal about their dislike for interracial marriage. Just this week a justice of the piece in Texas resigned his post because he did not want to perform such wedding ceremonies. He did not need to resign; he could have just chosen not to do those weddings. That’s fine. But he can’t tell interracial couple they can not wed at all.

And no one should be able to tell a same sex couple they can’t either.

My response:
I haven't read much about the decision in Maine, but I did read that it marks the 31st time that the electorate has voted down a measure for gay marriage in the US. Whether one agrees with the decision or not, I believe that a referendum style vote is the most clear way to deal with this issue. It is not small minded to defend a principle such as the definition of marriage as one man/one woman (who also meet other important criteria such as not being related). People have just as much right to vote for a more open interpretation of marriage if they wanted to... its just that the majority hasn't... 31 straight times in a row including states more likely be vote blue like California and now Maine.

The real mistake is the tactic to use the word marriage to describe a homosexual relationship. That word marriage is what actually does make this a religious issue for many people. Marriage is deeply ceremonial and religious in nature.

Government has endorsed this method and then applied rights associated with marriage. Government has laws that deal with marriage or religious institutions and those laws are meant to protect citizens from religious fraud.

The key for successful gay-rights is to look to the government to apply rights associated with marriage, but under different terminology and conditions. Just like there are rights applied to a 'common marriage' couple, there can be... and should be... rights applied to a homosexual couple. They should be concerned with new rhetoric to support government recognition of an entirely new category of relationship that qualifies for tax credits, health care benefits, beneficiary rights and so on.

Just don't call it marriage.

Happy Birthay Erin (Mommy) - We love you!

Erin - On your birthday, I wanted to take a moment to publicly brag about the amazing mother and wife that you are! Mitchell, Landon and I are blessed every day by the little things and the big things that you do.


We've been together for 10 years now. Back then, I wasn't conscientiously thinking, "I want to marry her because she is going to be a phenomenal wife and mother", and yet I knew that you were the perfect woman for me and whatever children we may have. I couldn't put it into words then, but there was something about your ability to care for others that drew me to you. I couldn't resist.



And now 10 years later, I get to see how that potential to love as it is actually lived out every day. Every day you nurture and challenge us to be more caring ourselves. For the boys, they don't know any better. As far as they are concerned, Mommy and Daddy love them... period. For me, I know that they are loved by a woman who's capacity to care for her children far out ways my wildest expectations. I can't tell you how many times I come home from work to hear of the latest example of what you and the boys do for fun and learning and think to myself, "how does she think of so many great ideas?"



So... I wanted you (and everybody else) to know that I love you! I know the boys love you (Mitchell says it with words and Landon says it with his eyes) . They can't resist... and neither can I.

- Jason (Mitchell & Landon)

What I really think about Obama

Ok... so as many times as I've tried to explain it, every time I mention President Obama, I get a ton of hits and comments from my fellow Republicans. I'm not liberal in anyway... yes maybe I've become a little more of a moderate, but at the core, I'm a strong proponent of the Republican party. Let me put it another way... when I saw this skit, I totally agreed with SNL! (which almost never happens)

Obama Auto-Tune

Another reason why I voted for President Obama... musical skills!

Homosexual Unions

This is a difficult topic. I recently responded to a friend's via email on this topic and this was a part of the response, now edited for this blog.

While I am personally opposed to homosexual marriage, if the state, through legislative means, rules in favor of a union for homosexual partners, what arguments do I have left other than religious? I believer it is completely appropriate for a religious body to not perform or support homosexual unions based on their interpretation of the scriptures. However, it is not appropriate for religious bodies to insist on state legislation based on a scriptural basis by which only they agree. In other words, all citizens have as a basis the common text of the constitution and law, however not all citizens consider the Bible as a common text. Therefore, any argument that we have against homosexual marriage, abortion, or any other ‘hot button’ issue that is based entirely on scripture will only be effective to those who consider the Bible as common text.

My point is that preaching that homosexual lifestyles go against Christ’s teachings is like preaching to the choir. I think most in the evangelical church would agree (though other liberal interpretations of Christ's teachings would not agree). So then, how does the evangelical church effectively reach a community with Christ's teachings when we often start by essentially saying, “If you’re gay or approve of homosexual unions, you have a distinctive disadvantage in getting to heaven” (… at least that’s how many people hear our opposition to homosexuality). I’d say that cuts us off from reaching about 40% of the community … maybe much more here in New England.

As a church in the modern world, I believe we need to focus on the universal truths in scripture, equip our congregations in a way that they can live it out in the real world, and educate them in such a way that they do not just ‘regurgitate’ scriptural references that will fall flat in a world that does not consider the Bible as common text.

Let me give you my favorite example. Abortion has long been opposed by religious organizations. Those who consider themselves to be Pro-Choice are most adamant that the government or a religious body not tell them what a mother can and cannot do with her body. If we resort to an argument stating that the Bible says 'killing a baby is wrong' and here is the scripture from Isaiah to prove our point, the argument then hits a wall. However, if we look at the universal truth of the matter that killing a baby is wrong and then attack the science behind the Row vs. Wade decision, we can begin to engage someone who does not acknowledge the Bible. I won’t spell out my entire abortion argument other than to say that our level of scientific understanding in 1972 when Row vs. Wade was handed down is easily debunked with modern science.

When it comes to homosexual unions, I have a more difficult time with the argument. I'm solid on the religious arguments, but in terms of matters of the state, I'm not sure there is a good reason to oppose unions. The one thing I know is that I don't approve of a court that creates common law in matters like this. Massachusetts is an example as our legislator did not pass a new law approving legal unions, but that the courts decided that the state constitution already provides for homosexual unions based on discrimination. That's not how our government was designed to work. However, if the state legislator does pass a law or an amendment to our constitution that provides for homosexual unions, then I have limited options for which to oppose it.

At that point I have a few options: 1) run for state representative and work toward repealing the law, 2) protest and take part in civil disobedience demonstrations, or 3) move back to South Carolina. I don't see that legislator changing this law anytime soon; plus I still have a house there that no one else seems to want... anybody.... anybody want it? It's nice... I promise!

What do you think?

Mitchell Likes Ice Cream

In case you haven't seen Erin's blog, here is a video she recently posted of Mitchell expressing his love for ice cream.